Trusting God – it’s scary!!

“…When they reached the place God had told him about, Abraham built an altar there and arranged the wood on it. He bound his son Isaac and laid him on the altar, on top of the wood.” – Genesis 22:9

Let me tell you about my morning. I read my devo this morning while I was sitting at the car dealership because something is wrong with my power steering and I needed to get it checked out. Before I go on, let me tell you about what I read…

In Genesis 22, we learn of Abraham, who was given a son at the age of 100!! Wow, talk about God providing in a time that it seemed impossible. After providing Abraham with this Child (Isaac), he decided to test Abraham. He commanded Abraham to take his son, the son God had promised him at the age of 100, and go up on a mountain and sacrifice him. Being a 25 year old who is unmarried and has no children, I cannot fully imagine what is going through Abraham’s head. But I do know that I would have probably ran with my child in the complete opposite direction of where I was supposed to be going. This was a true test of whether Abraham trusted God’s promise and whether the trust was enough to cause him to obey. And what did Abraham do? He obeyed without any hesitation.

Abraham was able to choose obedience so quickly because of his strong faith in God. Our level of faith determines our response to God when He asks something of us. The sad thing is, Abraham can obey God on such a large, scary task. But I struggle with trusting the Lord (and trusting that he will provide) in the smallest of things.

Before I go back to how the rest of my morning went, let me give you a little background knowledge on myself. I am a kindergarten teacher who makes barely enough money to get by each month. I live with my parents to save money and I aspire to move out and get a place of my own ASAP. But I just don’t have the means after my car payment, car insurance, student loans, and phone bill. I bought my car last year because my mustang that got me through my first 9 years of driving was about to kick the bucket. When I bought my car, I had to use my savings to put a down payment on the car. I leaked all but about $2,000 out of it to do so. So fast forward to this morning at the dealership. When the lady called me back to let me know what the issue was with my car she told me that it was an issue not covered under my warranty and it was going to cost me $2008.00 out of pocket. To her I’m sure I looked like I held my composure but in my head all I could think was: I’m never going to move out of my parents house, this is going to drain my ENTIRE savings account, what am I going to do?

I then cried all the way home feeling helpless. I had just read the words of Jesus providing for Abraham so he wouldn’t have to sacrifice his son, but I still cried all the way home because why? Because I do not have the trust in God that I should. I do not trust and fear God as Abraham did.

“God is ready to overwhelm you with more blessings that you could ever imagine so that you’ll always be taken care of in every way and you’ll have more than enough to share” – 2 Corinthians 9:8

I have read plenty of verses assuring me that God will provide even when it seems that we are helpless. Even though we don’t deserve it. He will provide. But I still seem to struggle with trusting God. But ya’ll (Me), we will always be taken care of!! In this life we may be called to make some heartrending decisions, to walk a path we would rather not walk & at that point the question is on what or whom will we fix our confidence.

So as I sit here, I plan on trusting that God will provide for me in this circumstance. He may not provide me a way to move out just yet, but he will provide in one way or another and I need to trust that he will do so. I need to stop bossing God around and stop telling him how to provide for me because he will provide in a way that will be glorifying to him.

..But in the meantime, I’m still going to sit here and go through my warranty information and try to find out if they made a mistake when looking through said information…Fingers crossed!! (I’ll keep you updated)





Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s